|My wedding day|
Fast forward five years and I was pregnant again with my second baby. I would only gain 26 pounds this time around and I lost that fairly easily. But I still carried the 70 that I had gained with Nichole. I would never take that off again. In fact it is here that my true battle would begin.
In 1987 my beloved son Adam who was 3 years old was diagnosed with Cancer.
|Adam age 3 one month before his diagnoses|
|Adam's favorite place was the mountains of Colorado|
|Adam and Nichole in Disney World Sept 1988|
|Balloons released at Adams Graveside|
|Resthaven Memory Gardens|
It was after this experience that I really began to gain weight, I know that is not an excuse. But I was eating as comfort and to fill a void in my life. I have since learned that food can never do this. It can only make me fat. I do not want to be fat anymore.
Adam was a precious gift, and even though I miss him terribly each and every day. He is with me, he is my strength, he is my resolve, he is the laughter, he is the joy. I know he would be my biggest cheer leader if he were able to be. He always loved to go clothes shopping with me and would tell me what looked good and what did not.
I know that he would be so proud of me today. I have come a long way from the woman who had lost so much of herself the day he died. I have to deal with his loss each and every day. The only difference 23 years later is that I have realized what I am too blame for and what I had no control over. I lost so much but I still have so much in my life I am very grateful. I have an amazing daughter Nichole, who also lost so much. She lost her best friend, they were so close. She lost part of her mother for a very long time, as I was unable to be with her while I was taking care of Adam in the hospital. She is a wonderful mother now of two adorable boys. They are the lights of my life Adam and Cole. Yes she named her first born after her brother. She always said she would and she did.
|My beautiful children|
|Nichole and Adam|
|Nichole and Adam in 1986 Denver|
I love you Adam!