The Trainer From HELL!!!

Ok so last night at 7:00pm was Nichole and my first appointment with a trainer at our gym.  Now mind you, I have dealt with these types before, you know.  The young, hot, and muscular males, who look fantastic in workout shorts.  Well let me tell you something.  This boy was a pain in the ass.


I have told you I hate working out on machines, any kind of machine.  It is boring, it is not rewarding to me in the least little bit.  I would rather be dipped into a vat of hot butter.  Or have my eyes poked out.  So the first thing he does is have us get our own personal mats and I am thinking wait a minute, I thought this was suppose to be on the machines.  There was a gentleman and his wife who also were there with us.  They were in their 60's.  So he looks at me and says "give me 20 push ups" of course I just laughed at him.  Right, like I can do push ups.  But you see, Travis ( this was his name) - was not kidding.  He said it again, "give me 20 push ups".  I proceeded to explain to him, about my knees and putting weight on them while kneeling, and he said hold on and went and got me a thick piece of foam, and said "we will put a Kabosh on the excuses right now" and I was like good lord.  So I began doing push ups on my knees, and I after the third one, I wanted to drop kick him across the gym.  But I didn't.  I just kept plugging away, and finally I finished the 20th one.  He said now see, You CAN do push ups, so do not ever tell me again you can't!

From here we went to the push up machine.  This is the machine that simulates the same muscle movements and resistance as doing them the good ole conventional way.  He had me sit on the bench and then proceeded to tell Nichole and the couple to do "jumping jacks" until I finished.  Now mind you, I knew these people wanted to kill me, because I was sorta slow at doing these.  Travis kept telling me that my form was perfect and that I was doing very well!  All the while my body wanted to grab him around the neck and strangle him.

From here we went back to the mats and he had us grab free weights and do bicep curls.  I had to use 10 pound weights and I just gave him my rolling eyes and he smiled and said you can do this.  Sure HE can do them easy, but I am fat, out of shape, and well I just plain have no upper body strength.  I was able to do them though, and it was not as bad as I had originally thought.  Then he had us work on the bands.  These are elastic bands, that you use in place of the free weights.  These are hard and even with all of my swimming that I have been doing, I feel like a weakling.

From here we moved to the leg press machine, and he of course chose me to go first.  He had me do 100 pounds, slave driver that he is.  Then he looked at the other three and said you will do squats while she is working the machine.  When she stops you will hold your squat til she exits the machine.  I saw the glare in the others eyes.  They were like Kristin you better not be as "fricking" slow as you were before kind of look.  So I began, and I thought my thighs would catch on fire from the intense burn.  I told him how hot they were, and he said GREAT that is what I want.  Damn him, who does he think he is Bob from Biggest Loser?

 When I was finished, I had to do the squats and he kept telling me to push my butt out farther.  I was like you know, my butt is huge and I really do not have to push it out very far for it to be OUT ya know!  Then skinny minnie, the lady, looks at me and says I am 60 years old if I can do this so can you, and I proceeded to remind her that I am 100+ pounds heavier than her.  So when I do these squats it is far more difficult than her......right?

 All in all, it was not that bad really.  I was winded and exhausted at the end but, I did feel like I had gotten a work out.  So next Monday is my second session.  This time we are going to work the core.  Travis said be ready you will be doing some sit ups!!!!!  I wonder if he means lying on the couch and sitting up?  Ya think?  I doubt it too.  Oh well, at least he gave me permission to "give him the bird!"

Will keep you posted on Travis!