Walk was hell on wheels........I am so glad!

I woke up this morning and ever muscle in my legs and even my mid section hurt!  I know it was from running yesterday, but even so I have never felt more proud of me.  I could have moaned and complained and stayed in bed as the old Kristin would have done.  Instead, I pulled my tired, sore, achy ass up off the sofa, and I grabbed Max and we headed out the door.


Now mind you, I did not run today.  But I did walk my three mile walk, and yes it was hard and I was slower than normal.  I did it however.  I pushed through the soreness and finished.


6 months ago, this would not have been me.  I am such a different person today.  I am an "exercise junkie"!  I actually want to work out and I am looking forward to it these days!


Maybe I will actually look 100% different come next June.  Perhaps my enormous butt will finally fit into a size 12 again. It is exiting to wonder how this will all play out.  But today I am focused on working what I have right now..today!

I am not good at long term planning, perhaps because I lost sight of the future when Adam died.  I am better at the short term goals.


I am so glad I did it, sore or not!

Saturday Morning Run!

This morning started out like most Saturday's for me.  I woke up at 4:15 am.  I got out of bed, grabbed my homework and my laptop and set down to study.  It was just Max and me awake at this hour.  The boys are at their dads this weekend and Alan and Nichole were sleeping soundly.  I read some blogs and caught up on Facebook and then it was suddenly 7am.  I did not want the day to get away from me as I had a plan for my morning.

Today is the day that I become a runner.  I got up and put on my cute running pants and tennis shoes and my Arizona sweatshirt, and grabbed my Ipod and Max and headed out the door.  It was cold this morning here.   It was 39 degrees.  I started out slow, but I ran a half of a block and then walked and then ran again and I continued to do this until I had ran 1/2 of the 3 mile walk course that I do.  I was so proud of myself.  I acutally did it and did not die.  I arrived home and Max was tired.  He ran well though, he stayed right my side, so close that his hair rubbed off on my pants.  I love that dog!

 
So I am no longer a virgin to running and I actually did not mind it.  I will say I am sore and stiff.  But hey that will get better with time.

I came home from the grocery store to find that CAT  nominated me for a blogger award!

Versatile: ver-sa-tile [vur-suh-tl] or, especially British, [vur-suh-tahyl]: capable of, or adapted for, turning easily from one to another various tasks, fields of endeavor, etc.: a versatile writer.

Word information source: www.dictionary.com

Here is how the award works:

1. You thank the person who presented you with the award.

2. You tell 7 things about yourself.

3. You award 15 other newly discovered bloggers.

 

Cat is an amazing woman.  I found early this summer and loved reading her blog.  She is really working the band and she is a great motivator.  I just love her. I thank her for showing me the way to keep on track with her great posts and friendship.

1.  I love Halloween, it is my favorite holiday and not just because it is my birthday.  I love the costumes, the colors, the parties, the way people are so happy on this day.  I have loved it since I was, well since I can recall.

2.  I have been married for 32 years in March to one of the smartest, and patriotic men I have ever known.  I am so proud of him for his nearly 30 years of service to our country.  He is in the Air National Guard fulltime.

3.  I have the most amazing grandsons, Adam(7) and Cole (5).  They are literally what keep me from ever believing that I am 50 this year.

4.  I have the best friend in the world.  She and I have been friends since 1970 and we live less than a mile from each other still.  We have been through everything together and we are closer than sisters could ever be.  We have NEVER had a fight.  She is beautiful.

5.  I love my BAND.  It has become my best friend.  I am happy that I no longer see food as comfort, and that I truly am on my way to being healthier than I have ever been.

6.  I love my blogging BOOBS.  I am so thankful for them each and everyday.  They keep me focused and honest.  They give me strength to keep plodding along on my journey.  Their wit and fellowship has really help me heal this past few months.

7.  My favorite color is purple.  I think it is a deep color that makes one think of love and richness of heart.  I am a romantic.  I am a very good singer, and I love to sing.  

Now for the nomination of bloggers I have recently discovered:

Kelli over at kellibelliband

Nichole over at diaryfromfattothin

Jessica over at gatorgirl1231

Kelly over at banded-army-wife

If you have not found them check them out, they are really great reads!  I love them all and look forward to following their journeys with them.

Have a great weekend!!

Chili Cook Off........I could win!!!

Kristin's Turkey Chili

Tomorrow is my Chili Cook off at school!  There are 9 of us competing.  The winner gets $100 and second place is $50 and third place is $25!!  I am making my fantastic Turkey Chili!


I am looking forward to the evening.  The boys will be with their dad this weekend, and so I will have some time to study and get caught up on some homework.  


Nichole is planning a 50th birthday party for me next Saturday.  I wanted the boys at my birthday party.  It will be a costume party, and I am looking forward to that one as well.

I took Monday off, because no "WITCH" should have to work on her birthday!!  Alan has always said since we have been together (33 years) that I should not have to pass out candy on my birthday, so he always whisks me away for a nice dinner.  I am not sure what we are doing, but I will be going "Trick or Treating with Adam and Cole!

I am planning on trying to run tomorrow morning instead of walking, so we shall see how that goes.  I will probably run/walk, but hey it is a start!


I want to be able to run some!


Happy Friday Everyone!



 

Back to Work......Crazy still continues!

I went back to work today after being off since last Thursday morning, it is awful missing work.  When no one does anything while you are away.  I came back to over 400 emails.  I had loads and loads of stuff sitting in my in basket and well it was exhausting just thinking about it.  I am proud to say I got most of it cleaned up before I left.

This week started out like crap.  I had all intention of being at work on Monday.  My mother was over on Sunday and was not feeling well.  She kept telling me how light headed she was.  She finally vomitted and just plain looked like hell.  She nearly passed out.  She will be 76 on her birthday December 22nd.  I told Alan that we needed to take her to the Emergency room.  Which we did, and they admitted her.  Her blood pressure was frightening low.  Turns out after tons of tests, that she has lost 15 pounds and they had no adjusted her blood pressure meds and so she was way over medicated.  After a night in the hospital I brought her back to my house for a couple of days and took her home last night.  She is doing better.  I have to take her blood pressure four times a day for two weeks, and then they will try to put her back on meds and see what happens.

My birthday is Monday and I am not looking forward to it much.  It will be my 50th.  I am not so much upset about the age cause I do NOT feel it.  I just have so much stress going on these days.  With the anniversary of Adams death on the 16th I am still reeling from that and all my teeth nightmares.

I am having car issues and right now, money is tight, and I am not sure how I am going to get through this.  I know that everything usually works out, but right now I am just worrying myself nuts.

I have a appointment with my surgeon on Tuesday and I have not seen him since August 4th.  I think he will be happy to see me.  I think I have done well so far since my fill on July 5th.  I have brought myself back to nearly where I was before I went nuts and fell off the band wagon.  I was 278 pounds when he saw me on June 28th before my fill.  I am now at 236.  WOO HOO!

When I got back to work today, after nearly two weeks away, it was really nice NSV's from many people, who told me how skinny I am getting.  In fact I had more than a couple of people say to me, "I don't know what is different but you look really good".  I wanted to tell them I had lost 10 pounds since they all saw me, but I didn't :)

So tomorrow is Friday and then I am off til Tuesday.  My 4 ten hour days are now done til March, so I am back to five days a week at work.  I am not sure how I will adjust but am  hopeful I will have a bit more time for school and home.  I was living at work there for awhile.

I cannot believe that I have two weeks and finals are here.  Oh boy!  I got to go study!! 

 

Momentum Monday!! YES YOU CAN

Need motivation?  Really?  All you need is YOU!  There is no secret fix out there that is going to do this for you.  I am going to be harsh probably to some here today!  I get so tired of emails and people asking me, please tell me your secret to your weight loss!

STOP the presses there is no secret elixir that is taken to do this.  The only secret is my determination t break my addiction and the constant need to use food to sooth whatever is ailing me.  Yes, I have taken ownership for being OBESE!  Ok, maybe genetics may play some sort of role, but in actuality it was me, abusing food and it misuse that has gotten me to where i was when I began this journey.

As I approach my 4th bandiversary, I have taken time to stop and reflect on why I am where I am in my journey.  I have no one to blame but me.  It is not the band, or lack of a fill, it is ME!

There comes a time in this life when we have to stand up and be honest.  Look at the success stories here, and all of the women who have come so far.

The excuses must STOP and you must begin to love yourself.  When you can do this, everything else seems to fall into place.

Saying Goodbye!!!

Saying goodbye forever to the 240's.  I have to say I am happy that I will never revisit this weight again.  I am looking at 10 pound increment victories.  These are wonderful and should never be discounted. Every 10 pounds makes a huge difference in your over all health and fitness.  Pick up 10 pounds and you will soon realize just how much that truly is.

I have now lost my grandson Cole!  I have lost an elephant's penis.  I mean really what could be grander.

I still have much work to do, but I am even more positive that I will get to my goal today!  I am thrilled beyond words that I have 16 pounds to go to reach where I was when I regained all of my weight.

I see the surgeon on the 5th of November, and I am hoping that he will be quite pleased.  

UPDATE!!!!!!

I am home from the oral surgeon's office.  Yes my dentist had to refer me, there was no saving my tooth.

After many shots of novacaine for pain, he removed the tooth and sent me on my way!

I am home lying in bed and hoping that this nightmare is nearly over!  

Not excited about the meds wearing off I might add.

My Nightmare Continues!!!!!

 Ok, so you all know that the past 11 days I have had nothing but my share of oral catastrophe after another.  This coming from the woman who before the 8th of October, never had a cavity, never had a toothache, never had the slightest hint that I had teeth, if it were not for their amazing ability to masticate all the freaking food I would put into my mouth over the years.

The saga continues sadly, I left work after a 14 hour day, lord was that NOT fun!  I came home to grab some stew and head off to the gym.  I was sitting with Alan and I took a bite of stew and whamo, something felt horribly wrong.  I jumped up ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, my molar that he did the root canal on last Thursday, well let's just say half of the tooth was merely hanging by a thread onto my gum.  It had completely split.  I am panicked, all I can imagine is the excruciating pain that I had been experiencing for well over a week returning.  I called the dental assistant at home, (she had called me one day last week on her cell)  LOL so I had her number.  I told her what had just happened and she said you will need to come in tomorrow morning at 7:45am and we will see what we can do.

It is not as painful as before, but my jaw is sore.  I think from holding my mouth so still, as not to tear the tooth off!  I am beginning to think that pulling this tooth would have been so much easier.  But I really do not want to lose it!

So I am back to the freaking dentist today, for more numbing and drilling and lord knows what the hell else!  I know I am being a big baby about all of this, and people go through this and worse with their teeth all of the time.

But for a dental pain virgin like myself, this has been a nightmare from hell!

I will keep you all posted!

Getting Back In Gear....My Ass That is!!

I have been out of the gym for 11 days and I am heading back to swimming tonight! 

I want you to know how awful I feel, I feel like I have lost so much strength by just lying in bed and sitting around.  I hope that it will not take much to get me back in the column of feeling strong again.

Sickness or illness or injury can sideline us so easily.  In this journey sitting on the side lines is not a GOOD thing!

I am looking forward to getting my ass back in the water and back to working out routinely.

I have found it is much easier to find reasons to not go once that pattern has reestablished itself.  UGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

What's for dinner?

I love when I am home from work because then I can cook!  I do not get to do this nearly enough.  Long hours and working out puts a damper in my "Giadaness"!

Tonight my family will be enjoying my "Old Time Beef Stew!"
I love this dish on a cool fall evening.  It is real comfort food.  It is also band friendly, and really satisfying.

I will share the recipe with you:

 Ingredients:

2 pounds of lean stew meat

2 tablespoons of olive oil

3 C water

1 T Worcestershire sauce ( I use more like 3)

1 Clove Garlic  ( I use more like 4)

1 or 2 Bay Leaves

1 medium sweet onion sliced

1 tsp salt

1 teaspoon of sugar

1.5 tsp pepper

1.5 tsp paprika

Dash of ground allspice or cloves

3 large carrots, sliced

3 ribs celery, chopped

3 large potatoes quartered

2 T cornstarch

Instructions:

In a dutch oven on top of the stove, brown meat in hot oil.  Add water, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, bay leaves, onion, salt, sugar, pepper, paprika, and allspice.  Cover and simmer for 1 1.5 hours.  Remove bay leaves.  Add carrots and celery and potatoes, cover and cook for 30 to 40 minutes longer.  To thicken the gravy, remove 2 C of hot liquid.  Using a separate bowl, combine 1/4 C of water and cornstarch until smooth.  Mix with a little hot liquid and return to the pot.  Stir and cook until bubbly.  Serve with hot bread or rolls.

My family loves this recipe and we have it often through out the fall and winter months.

I love it because I can dish up 1/2 cup containers and refrigerate and I have lunch for days at work.

Enjoy!

New Blogger Alert

I want to give a shout out to my beautiful daughter Nichole.  She has started her own blog and she is in need of some support.  Please welcome her and give her some blog love!

Are you a scale whore?............well are you?

Yeah, me too.  Even though I know you are not suppose to be one.  What do they know, right? It comforts me to step on that scale every day and sometimes more than once a day.  Some say this is a great way to lose the momentum in your journey by scale watching like an addict.

Well I thought I would talk a little bit about other ways to measure success today!



Some people can measure their weight loss by the way they look and feel:  firmer thighs, a smaller waist, jiggle-free arms. But then there are the number-crazy ones (ME) who desperately need some kind (any kind!) of concrete proof that all their hard work is paying off. They want to gauge their progress a different way. Give them numbers on paper, or some kind of chart and they’re ecstatic. 



There are so many numbers to go by (pounds, pant size, inches), but not all are created equal. So, which figures say the most about your own figure? If you are someone who gasps when the scale shows a one or two pound weight gain ("I haven’t cheated at all. How could I be gaining?"), then learning about body composition will help you see real, measurable results. 

1. Weight
Your total body mass. We’re all too familiar with this one, in most cases. But weight alone doesn’t tell you the whole truth about your progress or fitness level.  For example, it doesn’t tell you how much fat you carry. People generically want to lose "weight." You could start lifting weights and actually gain weight…but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are tipping the scales towards obesity.

How to use it: Forget your preconceptions about the number on the scale. Knowing your weight is good, but not crucial—you want to lose fat, not necessarily weight. If you must weigh yourself, don’t make it a daily habit. Weight tends to fluctuate throughout the day, and from day-to-day, by as much as 5 pounds or so. Most of these regular changes are due to food and water. If weight is an important record to you, then do it under the same circumstances (no clothes or shoes, first thing in the morning before eating, etc) and no more than every 1-2 weeks. 

2. Fat Mass Usually referred to as body fat percentage. This number tells you how much of your total body weight is actual fat. Men and women go by different minimums and healthy ranges of fat. For example, men need about 3%-5% essential fat at the lowest levels, whereas women need at least 12%-15% to be considered healthy and be able to sustain a menstrual cycle (and numbers this low could be considered underweight). A standard height and weight chart cannot accurately tell you if you are overweight, but body fat percentage, on the other hand, can.

• Track your progress: Observing change in body fat is the best way to measure "weight" loss. There are user-friendly formulas that can estimate your body fat percentage, but the most accurate readings come from a qualified fitness professional. To see a trend, reassess your body fat every four to six weeks.

3. Lean Mass This is everything else that makes up your weight. It includes muscle, bones, organs, water, and all non-fatty tissues. Again, there is a gender difference. Thanks to much higher levels of testosterone, men have a greater amount of muscle mass than women. One pound of muscle takes up much less space than one pound of fat. So, as you exercise consistently and build up strength, your total body weight may actually increase. This can be confusing (and sometimes scary), but you are gaining muscle, while maintaining or even losing fat.

• Look for gains: Your lean mass can be calculated by subtracting your total fat (as a percentage or in actual pounds) from your total weight. This number will probably be relatively stable, or increase over time, as long as you are exercising. Gains in muscle mass will increase your metabolism, thus enabling you to burn more calories during every activity—even sitting! So, while you do want to lose fat, setting a goal of increasing your muscle mass will help you get there.

4. Fat Distribution Ever notice how some people can have big bellies but lean legs? Women store most of their fat in their thighs, hips, and butt. These are examples of fat distribution, which refers to where your body typically stores the fat that you have. This is important because where you store fat can be a predictor of health risk. "Apple" shapes (fat storage around the belly) have been shown to have a higher risk of certain cardiovascular diseases, whereas storing fat in your lower half, known as a "Pear" shape, is actually a healthier site for fat accumulation.

• Room for improvement: Changes in fat distribution happen when you are losing fat and building muscle. Typically, the body burns fat all over, and just as typically, fat in the stomach is usually the last to go. There are no exercises you can do to speed up fat burn in any particular area. Cardio activity, utilizing large muscle groups, burns fat all over the body. So, don’t waste your time doing lots of crunches to lose the belly fat, or boxing to lose your arm jiggle. You can measure these changes with a simple tape measure, or just by how your clothes look and feel.

Whatever your fitness goal, measuring body composition will help you track your progress, not to mention leave little doubt that all those little (and sometimes big) changes you’ve made are moving you in the right direction.

Bottom line: If your goal is fat loss, then measure progress by decreases in body fat percentage, and possibly improved fat distribution. If your aim is to increase strength, then lean body mass will tell you how much muscle you have gained. Breathe a sigh of relief, number-crunchers. These are the only numbers you need to help you meet your goals.

I am not sure I can lose the scale whore in me, but I am going to try to focus more on how I feel overall.  I think this will help me when I get in the "dark place" when things may not be moving or progressing as fast as I believe that they should be.

What will you be doing?

My First Video Blog

My Video Blog today!!

Suddenly it's Saturday

1997  180 pounds

Kristin 1979 Hawaii  135 pounds

 
Wow, I lost two whole days!  I have been sleeping on Tramadol for the past 36 hours.  That stuff made me so sick!  My tooth still hurts, but it seems to be getting better, it is not as bad as it was yesterday.  I have had two root canals in two days and let me tell you, I now have empathy for those who suffer with bad teeth.  

I am finally feeling like sitting up and decided I should blog.  I have not written or committed much since Thursday.

Kristin and Nichole 1999

I thought I would share some photos of me from over the years so you can see me before the weight gain, during and after my surgery and then the regain that I went through.

Mom, Kristin and Nichole 1997

 

 

2005  beginning of largest gain

This is when I really began putting on the weight, Alan was deployed to Iraq from May til October.  This was a horribly stressful time for me.  I began to eat, and eat and eat.

October 2005 Chicago  218 pounds

Cole Birthday  October 2006  265 pounds

November 1 2007 287 pounds 6 days prior to surgery

August 2008  227 pounds

October 2008  220 pounds

December 2008  218 pounds

January 2009 Kristin 212 pounds

October 2009  230 pounds

This is when I began to regain the weight!  

October 1, 2009  225 pounds

Kristin July 2010  265 pounds

Kristin 242 pounds BOOBS 2.0  10-1-11

I had regained back to 282 pounds by June 15, 2011. I do not have any pictures of the highest this time.  I had stopped taking my pictures.  This is when I saw my Surgeon to see about a fill.  He filled me on July 5, 2011.  I have 2cc in my 4cc band now.  I have lost 40 pounds since the fill and 55 pounds since my banding.  I have a long way to go, but I feel confidant now that I can make it!  


It is hard to post these pictures.  I look back when I was 180 pounds and wish I was back there again.  The 100+ pounds that I gained after that time, has many reasons but ultimately I had to figure out why I was addicted to food and admit my addiction.  I have done this, and I now know how to deal with this addiction in a very positive way.


I look forward to a slimmer 2012 and am anxious to see how this journey plays out for me!
 

Thankful for Thursday!

WICKED!  A night to remember

We had a great evening!  In spite of my oral surgery at 10am, and the awful gastric upset from the Clindamycin, our dinner was fabulous.  We ate at a really upscale resturaunt called 309!

309 Peoria Heights

We shared a petite fillet, garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus and a bowl of french onion soup.  It was relaxing and they treated us like queens.

We loved this place

We did not have to much trouble deciding on the dinner, I told the waitress about my surgery and that we would be sharing and she was totally fine with it.   




I was very impressed with this resturaunt it is fairly new, and this was our first time going.  We will most certainly be going back.

Nichole's dress was so awesome!

We had NO alcohol!  Believe it!

We decided not to have any dessert we both were so full, and just wanted to be good!  The service was fabulous, and they did everything perfect.  Waited on us promptly, served the food quickly at the correct temperature, and it was a very nice change to the type of service locally I have become accustomed to.

dining room at 309

We arrived at the play and some of the trailors were on the street outside.  They had 15 semi tractors with all the sets and props and wardrobe for this show.  It took 30 hours to set up the stage for this 16 day run here in Peoria.  

Outside the Theater!

Nichole my beautiful daughter!

We got our seats in the second balcony front row center.  Let me say I hate heights, and my fear is beyond normal.  It is pretty bad.  So this was truly hard for me to sit down, but I did it.  Within 20 minutes of the show starting my intestines began rumbling really really bad.  I was like this is NOT happening to me.  I was able to control it til the intermission, but it was the hardest thing to do.  I was uncomfortable and my tooth was achy.  


At intermission Nichole said to me, "mom, I am really bored, this show is slow, and I am not really enjoying it!"  I was shocked because I was feeling the same way.  Perhaps it was opening night, perhaps it was the actors, perhaps it was that I was not feeling well, I just knew that I did not want to sit for another 1.5 hours for the second act either.  We laughed about it, and said people would not believe that we were going to leave.  But we did, we walked out at intermission and we came home.  

Nichole and Mom heading to WICKED!

Alan was waiting for us, and we told him all about it, and he smiled.  He did not want to see it in the first place.  Now do not get me wrong, it was exciting and I am sure on Broadway it would be much different, but this show was not anything like when I saw Phantom, and I was disappointed.


I told you that I would be honest, and I am being.  I am home from work today, because my tooth and jaw are so sore.  I had a partial root canal yesterday morning, and have to go back on the 25th to finish it.  Then I have to wait a month to get the final cap put on the tooth.  I have a great deal of empathy now for anyone who has dealt with teeth pain.


Nichole and I loved getting dressed up and going to dinner and the show.  It was her present for graduation from College, and I am glad she had a good time.  I think she looked stunning.

Nichole and I at Phantom 2000

I am not happy at all with how I look, in fact I deleted most of the pictures.  I know I have come a long way, but I still hate myself in pictures.  I just look so fat!


I hope to get back into the gym sometime today.  I am going to see how I feel later.  If not, I definitely will be there tomorrow.