Thursday and it is my Friday

It is finals week at school, and I am swamped.  I think this post will be bullets.

I have two finals to finish before Sunday night at midnight.  Then my new quarter begins on Tuesday.  I am glad these classes will be behind me, although I have A's in both.

I have two visitations tonight.  Nichole's good friend from grade and high school (whom I work with) lost her brother (age 31) to melanoma on Saturday.  God I hate fucking cancer!, and my neighbor of 17 years who was 81 passed away on Monday night.

I am off tomorrow, we have a wedding tomorrow night. Nichole's close friend from grade and high school is getting married on 11-11-11!  We have waited for this for a few years.  I am looking forward to it.

The boys are with their dad this weekend, and I have plenty to do.  I want to finish my spreadsheet for Christmas gifts.  Yes I know, sounds cumbersome but it isn't really.  I have just found I spend less if I budget each gift and have a game plan.

Nichole and Mom and I are planning a trip to Chicago the weekend after Thanksgiving to do some shopping.  I have to work the Friday after Thanksgiving, and I am not too happy about it.  This will be the first year in many many where I did not get to do the Black Friday crazy.  I will miss that!

Thanksgiving is two weeks from today, I have much to do for this as well.  I am having 14 people at my house for dinner.  I love this meal and preparing it for everyone!  I am also happy to say that my tiny plate and utensils makes for a very band friendly meal.  I have no issues with overeating!

A very close from of mine from work Linda and her son Elijah are like part of my family now.  We have worked together for 5 years and she is like a sister to me.  She is a single mom, and I am so proud of how hard she works to make a good life for her and Elijah.  She has a wonderful 14 year old, he is polite and  a truly great kid.  Her house was broken into yesterday afternoon while they were at work and school.  They took everything of value, his Xbox, Ipod, Kinnect, all his video games and music CD's, Linda's jewelry and ransacked the house it is a mess. The sad thing is she called State Farm her homeowners insurance and they told her they had just upped her deductible to $1,000 on 11-7-11.  She was freaked out, she was like I have no notice of this, they told her it was in the mail.  This is a woman who struggles each week to make ends meet and provide for her and her son.  I get so mad when I think about why people steal from the very poor.  Stealing is wrong no matter who, but really, the poor.  I am going to do my best to make Thanksgiving and Christmas a happy time for the both of them, they always spend the holidays with us.  Her own family for religious reasons do not celebrate any holidays or birthdays.

Well I need to get back to work, it is going to be a long day.

7 Tips For Sticking With Your Workouts

I have been a member of my gym since four months before my surgery!  So that is nearly 4 1/2 years.  Now mind you I was religious in the beginning, I worked and worked.  I did water aerobics, I walked on the god for saken treadmill.  I walked on the track, I did yoga, I strength trained.  I became a workout junkie.....me, the middle age woman who because of being obese would never ever think about going to the gym upon waking in the morning before this.

When I fell off the wagon 18 months into my journey, I stopped going, I found every excuse known to man not so go.  Let's face it, excuses are like a_ _ holes well you know, everyone has one.  We all get busy, we all have bad days, we all have children or grandchildren, or full time jobs outside of our homes.  Even so at some point you have to stop, and say I am taking 30 or 45 minutes a day for MYSELF!

I always hated exercise because I did not like how I looked, I always felt someone would be watching me, and saying WOW she is fat!  Well so be it if they do, I am fat and I am trying to get UNFAT for lord sake.  That is why people go to a gym right?  If we all looked like Barbie, most of us would not even bother.  

The first few weeks felt like utter torture, it was so hard to make myself go.  But something truly wonderful began to happen, not only did I begin to see results on my scale and in my clothes, I began to feel better physically and emotionally.


I began to smile more, and feel happier.  It was true, all that stuff you read about why working out is absolutely wonderful for you.  I proved it to myself.

So what are the 7 tips I can give to you for staying the course you ask?


1.  I just go
I have never regretted going to the gym ever.  I have always felt better after going, even if it is after a grueling 60 minutes of Zumba and I thought my lungs were coming out of my body.

2.  I have come a long way baby
When I think over the past four years and where I was before I began to exercise, WHOA I am so much stronger and able to move better, and be up longer, and no longer have to sit on the side lines.  I would not trade this feeling for anything.

3.   I treat myself
I bring a good magazine with me to read, or I buy me a new workout shirt or something that makes me feel good about myself.


4.  I make a new playlist
I love music, I am a singer.  I have been in musicals, choirs, won at state and all of that.  I have to listen to music and when working out that is a given.  I am even asking for a container for Christmas to hold my IPOD in while I swim!  I have to have good music in my head, it makes my workouts fun!

5.  I work and play
Sometimes I plan something fun and exciting after my workout, or I go have a healthy dinner, or I simply get into my PJ's and relax with a cup of tea, I do something after for me!  I keep my eyes on the prize and envision it while I am working out.

6. I am not alone
I think of all the other women around the world and especially my fellow BOOBS who are also putting on their tennis shoes and heading to the gym right there with me.  I remind myself that they too are working out today!

7.   Sometimes it is ok not to workout
Sometimes you just need to take a break.  I know for me once I begin going I want to go every day.  But sometimes it is best to listen to our bodies and our minds.  If it has been a horrible day, take a break if you need to.  For me, going to the gym helps the stress, so I prefer to go.  However, it truly is ok to miss a day.  Sometimes we just have to go easy on ourselves.

Take it from me a women who never imagined herself working out and loving every moment. I am moving and I cannot ever imagine going back to being that OBESE couch potato of days gone by!

My birthday cake was amazing!

My cake was incredible!  My party was so much fun!  I had a great weekend!


I also lost 1.5 pounds, and I ate everything I wanted at the party!  LOL


The cake is all edible.  The Witch is made out of rice krispie treat and covered in edible chocolate clay.  The bottom of the cauldron is spun sugar and the top is also spun sugar with lights inside.  The cake was white wedding and her broom is cake with toasted coconut!  There are fingers and toads and bones in the top of the cauldron they too are all cake!


The woman who does these cakes has only been making cakes for about 6 months.  She is truly talented.  She told me this is by far her favorite cake she has done.


Fun was had by all, I am tired today but it is a good feeling.

One more day.......I am excited!

So tomorrow is my 50th Birthday party! Halloween was the day but we are celebrating tomorrow!  It is a costume party and I am so excited about it. I am not upset at all about being 50.  Nope not me, I do not look my age, and I certainly do not feel it!

I am healthier today than I have been in a very long time.  I simply can not wait to see everyone in costume.

Nichole has out done herself this time.  She has planned this, down to my cake.  Which I must admit I cannot wait to see.  The same woman who made Cole's cake is doing mine and her cakes are FAB!

I will promise to post pictures so you all can see the gang!

Tonight Nichole and I take our measurements, I cannot believe that a whole month has gone by again.

I know things have moved around and shifted as I am comfortably in clothes that I have not seen in years.

Did I tell you lately how much I LOVE MY BAND!!!

Life is good!

 

OMG.....another NSV!

I am on cloud 10 this morning, yeap that's right I am.  I got up and it was pouring down rain, and I was thinking "great what I am going to wear"!  I am really down to a bare nothing wardrobe.  I am down to only two pairs of pants that I can wear to work.  

I have chosen to NOT purchase any new clothes till I am totally and absolutely under 220.  So with that being said, I do have two shelves of pants in my closet that I cannot get into.  I have hung on to them because I love them.  This morning I looked upon these shelves and there was an olive green pair of pants from Old Navy that still had the tags on them!  I had purchased them three years ago on clearance for $4.  LOL

These pants have never graced my ass.  I love them.  I kept them in hopes that I might one day really wear them.  So I took them down and slipped them on, yeap that is right, I slipped them on!!!  I did not have to lie on the bed, or yank and pull and heave them over my hips.  I slipped them on and zipped them up.  I stood there in the middle of my closet, with the door closed, cause Alan and Cole were still sleeping and I cried.

I am thrilled that my body is making progress!  

Stop the insanity..................NOW!

A healthy lifestyle is not an all or nothing proposition.  Plans will go awry and obstacles will pop up.  Don't get down.  Get down to business.  






It doesn't matter how often you fall.  What matters is how you land and where you end up.  Cats have nine lives, and always seem to get second chances.  Cats also land on their feet when they fall.  Coincidence?  Healthy living is a process of learning.  Life does not always pan out as we thought, and fate has a toolbox full of wrenches to throw into your plans.

In the years ahead, you will go through success and failures, highs and lows, steps forward and steps back, times of plenty and times of difficulty.  When the dust settles and the books of life are squared away, you are doing well if you come out the other side, better, stronger and happier for the experience.

Some of us see weight loss and healthy living as struggles.  I believe this is because we have an all or nothing approach and will only accept perfection.  When we have to face anything less than 100% success, we fall into the vat of guilty despair, convinced that we have failed.  We then revert to our old habits and the cycle begins again.

Guess what, it does not have to be this way.  Healthy living is a process of learning.  Setbacks can show up in a lot of ways.  

Plateaus:  "the scale is just not moving anymore!"
Burnout:  "I just can't keep up this tough regiment anymore!"
Week Moments:  "I had a really bad week, and spent all weekend drinking, eating cheeseburgers, and donuts!"
Discouragement:  "I'm never going to make it all the way, I might as well just give up now!"
Interruptions:  "Why did I have to get sick now!"
Injuries:  "Can't believe I pulled a muscle right when I was starting to see progress!"

Since you are developing a new healthy life style, you can choose to do things differently this time.  Instead of expecting perfection, you can concentrate on damage control, on bouncing back.



Keep a positive attitude:  Studies have shown the optimists reach more goals than pessimists.   You see, a setback is not a brick wall that must be climbed, it is merely a gate that must be opened and gone through, you will soon be on your way.

Trust in your plan:  You spent allot of time, money and energy deciding to get your band.  You laid out the steps before you.  You knew it was only a matter of time to reach your goal.  You also knew, it was not an easy fix.  What was true in the beginning of your journey, still holds true today.  Stay the course. 


Believe in yourself: Self discipline is hard.  But you have what it takes to build a healthy lifestyle.  When things go wrong, do not beat yourself up, instead give yourself a pep talk.  You are worth the effort.  Your weight loss goals deserve another shot.  You are already doing more than most people even try to do.


Give yourself good reason to keep going: return to the basics of motivation to get back on track.  Look back over the reasons you got your band.  Remind yourself of how you felt those first weeks after surgery when you had no intention of cheating what so ever. Who can you connect with that can give you a lift?  Are you rewarding yourself often enough?  The answer to those questions may hold the golden nugget of motivation that you have forgotten about. 

Happy 50th Birthday Halloween!!

I had an amazing birthday spent with my grandsons, and Nichole, Alan and my mom, and my best friend.  Every year since the boys have been born, Halloween is all about THEM!  For me, that makes it even more of a special day.  To see them get so excited about this day is the best birthday present ever!

My brother n law Paul and his wife Suzanne and son Sam sent me flowers!  I got them delivered by Federal Express Pro Flowers.  They are beautiful and it was so thoughtful of them to do this for me.

I went to Cole's Halloween Party at school, and he was my little "Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon" and he really got into Halloween this year for the first time.  He actually said Trick or Treat and looked forward to going.  So that was AMAZEBALLS!

 

 We then headed out in our own costumes with the boys to Kristie's house and more trick or treating.  Nichole wears her wedding dress every year, and I wore my Mother of the Bride dress this year, (huge NSV as I have not been able to get into this dress since the wedding in 2003).  I was a fairy and Nichole was a Queen.  What a great way to get some use out of formal wear I say!  LOL

My party is this Saturday and it is a costume party and I am looking forward to it!  I know it will be so much fun!  I am back at work today as I was off yesterday!  YUCK I like being home, but hey I am glad to have a job right!


I was suppose to see my surgeon today but they called and have to reschedule he had family ER out of town.  So I will have to wait now.  I am not bummed cause I can just lose a little bit more before I see him.  LOL

I am ready to run tonight with Max.  I plan on doing it as soon as I get home from work!  I am loving this getting healthy stuff so much!

Walk was hell on wheels........I am so glad!

I woke up this morning and ever muscle in my legs and even my mid section hurt!  I know it was from running yesterday, but even so I have never felt more proud of me.  I could have moaned and complained and stayed in bed as the old Kristin would have done.  Instead, I pulled my tired, sore, achy ass up off the sofa, and I grabbed Max and we headed out the door.


Now mind you, I did not run today.  But I did walk my three mile walk, and yes it was hard and I was slower than normal.  I did it however.  I pushed through the soreness and finished.


6 months ago, this would not have been me.  I am such a different person today.  I am an "exercise junkie"!  I actually want to work out and I am looking forward to it these days!


Maybe I will actually look 100% different come next June.  Perhaps my enormous butt will finally fit into a size 12 again. It is exiting to wonder how this will all play out.  But today I am focused on working what I have right now..today!

I am not good at long term planning, perhaps because I lost sight of the future when Adam died.  I am better at the short term goals.


I am so glad I did it, sore or not!

Saturday Morning Run!

This morning started out like most Saturday's for me.  I woke up at 4:15 am.  I got out of bed, grabbed my homework and my laptop and set down to study.  It was just Max and me awake at this hour.  The boys are at their dads this weekend and Alan and Nichole were sleeping soundly.  I read some blogs and caught up on Facebook and then it was suddenly 7am.  I did not want the day to get away from me as I had a plan for my morning.

Today is the day that I become a runner.  I got up and put on my cute running pants and tennis shoes and my Arizona sweatshirt, and grabbed my Ipod and Max and headed out the door.  It was cold this morning here.   It was 39 degrees.  I started out slow, but I ran a half of a block and then walked and then ran again and I continued to do this until I had ran 1/2 of the 3 mile walk course that I do.  I was so proud of myself.  I acutally did it and did not die.  I arrived home and Max was tired.  He ran well though, he stayed right my side, so close that his hair rubbed off on my pants.  I love that dog!

 
So I am no longer a virgin to running and I actually did not mind it.  I will say I am sore and stiff.  But hey that will get better with time.

I came home from the grocery store to find that CAT  nominated me for a blogger award!

Versatile: ver-sa-tile [vur-suh-tl] or, especially British, [vur-suh-tahyl]: capable of, or adapted for, turning easily from one to another various tasks, fields of endeavor, etc.: a versatile writer.

Word information source: www.dictionary.com

Here is how the award works:

1. You thank the person who presented you with the award.

2. You tell 7 things about yourself.

3. You award 15 other newly discovered bloggers.

 

Cat is an amazing woman.  I found early this summer and loved reading her blog.  She is really working the band and she is a great motivator.  I just love her. I thank her for showing me the way to keep on track with her great posts and friendship.

1.  I love Halloween, it is my favorite holiday and not just because it is my birthday.  I love the costumes, the colors, the parties, the way people are so happy on this day.  I have loved it since I was, well since I can recall.

2.  I have been married for 32 years in March to one of the smartest, and patriotic men I have ever known.  I am so proud of him for his nearly 30 years of service to our country.  He is in the Air National Guard fulltime.

3.  I have the most amazing grandsons, Adam(7) and Cole (5).  They are literally what keep me from ever believing that I am 50 this year.

4.  I have the best friend in the world.  She and I have been friends since 1970 and we live less than a mile from each other still.  We have been through everything together and we are closer than sisters could ever be.  We have NEVER had a fight.  She is beautiful.

5.  I love my BAND.  It has become my best friend.  I am happy that I no longer see food as comfort, and that I truly am on my way to being healthier than I have ever been.

6.  I love my blogging BOOBS.  I am so thankful for them each and everyday.  They keep me focused and honest.  They give me strength to keep plodding along on my journey.  Their wit and fellowship has really help me heal this past few months.

7.  My favorite color is purple.  I think it is a deep color that makes one think of love and richness of heart.  I am a romantic.  I am a very good singer, and I love to sing.  

Now for the nomination of bloggers I have recently discovered:

Kelli over at kellibelliband

Nichole over at diaryfromfattothin

Jessica over at gatorgirl1231

Kelly over at banded-army-wife

If you have not found them check them out, they are really great reads!  I love them all and look forward to following their journeys with them.

Have a great weekend!!

Chili Cook Off........I could win!!!

Kristin's Turkey Chili

Tomorrow is my Chili Cook off at school!  There are 9 of us competing.  The winner gets $100 and second place is $50 and third place is $25!!  I am making my fantastic Turkey Chili!


I am looking forward to the evening.  The boys will be with their dad this weekend, and so I will have some time to study and get caught up on some homework.  


Nichole is planning a 50th birthday party for me next Saturday.  I wanted the boys at my birthday party.  It will be a costume party, and I am looking forward to that one as well.

I took Monday off, because no "WITCH" should have to work on her birthday!!  Alan has always said since we have been together (33 years) that I should not have to pass out candy on my birthday, so he always whisks me away for a nice dinner.  I am not sure what we are doing, but I will be going "Trick or Treating with Adam and Cole!

I am planning on trying to run tomorrow morning instead of walking, so we shall see how that goes.  I will probably run/walk, but hey it is a start!


I want to be able to run some!


Happy Friday Everyone!



 

Back to Work......Crazy still continues!

I went back to work today after being off since last Thursday morning, it is awful missing work.  When no one does anything while you are away.  I came back to over 400 emails.  I had loads and loads of stuff sitting in my in basket and well it was exhausting just thinking about it.  I am proud to say I got most of it cleaned up before I left.

This week started out like crap.  I had all intention of being at work on Monday.  My mother was over on Sunday and was not feeling well.  She kept telling me how light headed she was.  She finally vomitted and just plain looked like hell.  She nearly passed out.  She will be 76 on her birthday December 22nd.  I told Alan that we needed to take her to the Emergency room.  Which we did, and they admitted her.  Her blood pressure was frightening low.  Turns out after tons of tests, that she has lost 15 pounds and they had no adjusted her blood pressure meds and so she was way over medicated.  After a night in the hospital I brought her back to my house for a couple of days and took her home last night.  She is doing better.  I have to take her blood pressure four times a day for two weeks, and then they will try to put her back on meds and see what happens.

My birthday is Monday and I am not looking forward to it much.  It will be my 50th.  I am not so much upset about the age cause I do NOT feel it.  I just have so much stress going on these days.  With the anniversary of Adams death on the 16th I am still reeling from that and all my teeth nightmares.

I am having car issues and right now, money is tight, and I am not sure how I am going to get through this.  I know that everything usually works out, but right now I am just worrying myself nuts.

I have a appointment with my surgeon on Tuesday and I have not seen him since August 4th.  I think he will be happy to see me.  I think I have done well so far since my fill on July 5th.  I have brought myself back to nearly where I was before I went nuts and fell off the band wagon.  I was 278 pounds when he saw me on June 28th before my fill.  I am now at 236.  WOO HOO!

When I got back to work today, after nearly two weeks away, it was really nice NSV's from many people, who told me how skinny I am getting.  In fact I had more than a couple of people say to me, "I don't know what is different but you look really good".  I wanted to tell them I had lost 10 pounds since they all saw me, but I didn't :)

So tomorrow is Friday and then I am off til Tuesday.  My 4 ten hour days are now done til March, so I am back to five days a week at work.  I am not sure how I will adjust but am  hopeful I will have a bit more time for school and home.  I was living at work there for awhile.

I cannot believe that I have two weeks and finals are here.  Oh boy!  I got to go study!! 

 

Momentum Monday!! YES YOU CAN

Need motivation?  Really?  All you need is YOU!  There is no secret fix out there that is going to do this for you.  I am going to be harsh probably to some here today!  I get so tired of emails and people asking me, please tell me your secret to your weight loss!

STOP the presses there is no secret elixir that is taken to do this.  The only secret is my determination t break my addiction and the constant need to use food to sooth whatever is ailing me.  Yes, I have taken ownership for being OBESE!  Ok, maybe genetics may play some sort of role, but in actuality it was me, abusing food and it misuse that has gotten me to where i was when I began this journey.

As I approach my 4th bandiversary, I have taken time to stop and reflect on why I am where I am in my journey.  I have no one to blame but me.  It is not the band, or lack of a fill, it is ME!

There comes a time in this life when we have to stand up and be honest.  Look at the success stories here, and all of the women who have come so far.

The excuses must STOP and you must begin to love yourself.  When you can do this, everything else seems to fall into place.

Saying Goodbye!!!

Saying goodbye forever to the 240's.  I have to say I am happy that I will never revisit this weight again.  I am looking at 10 pound increment victories.  These are wonderful and should never be discounted. Every 10 pounds makes a huge difference in your over all health and fitness.  Pick up 10 pounds and you will soon realize just how much that truly is.

I have now lost my grandson Cole!  I have lost an elephant's penis.  I mean really what could be grander.

I still have much work to do, but I am even more positive that I will get to my goal today!  I am thrilled beyond words that I have 16 pounds to go to reach where I was when I regained all of my weight.

I see the surgeon on the 5th of November, and I am hoping that he will be quite pleased.  

UPDATE!!!!!!

I am home from the oral surgeon's office.  Yes my dentist had to refer me, there was no saving my tooth.

After many shots of novacaine for pain, he removed the tooth and sent me on my way!

I am home lying in bed and hoping that this nightmare is nearly over!  

Not excited about the meds wearing off I might add.

My Nightmare Continues!!!!!

 Ok, so you all know that the past 11 days I have had nothing but my share of oral catastrophe after another.  This coming from the woman who before the 8th of October, never had a cavity, never had a toothache, never had the slightest hint that I had teeth, if it were not for their amazing ability to masticate all the freaking food I would put into my mouth over the years.

The saga continues sadly, I left work after a 14 hour day, lord was that NOT fun!  I came home to grab some stew and head off to the gym.  I was sitting with Alan and I took a bite of stew and whamo, something felt horribly wrong.  I jumped up ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, my molar that he did the root canal on last Thursday, well let's just say half of the tooth was merely hanging by a thread onto my gum.  It had completely split.  I am panicked, all I can imagine is the excruciating pain that I had been experiencing for well over a week returning.  I called the dental assistant at home, (she had called me one day last week on her cell)  LOL so I had her number.  I told her what had just happened and she said you will need to come in tomorrow morning at 7:45am and we will see what we can do.

It is not as painful as before, but my jaw is sore.  I think from holding my mouth so still, as not to tear the tooth off!  I am beginning to think that pulling this tooth would have been so much easier.  But I really do not want to lose it!

So I am back to the freaking dentist today, for more numbing and drilling and lord knows what the hell else!  I know I am being a big baby about all of this, and people go through this and worse with their teeth all of the time.

But for a dental pain virgin like myself, this has been a nightmare from hell!

I will keep you all posted!

Getting Back In Gear....My Ass That is!!

I have been out of the gym for 11 days and I am heading back to swimming tonight! 

I want you to know how awful I feel, I feel like I have lost so much strength by just lying in bed and sitting around.  I hope that it will not take much to get me back in the column of feeling strong again.

Sickness or illness or injury can sideline us so easily.  In this journey sitting on the side lines is not a GOOD thing!

I am looking forward to getting my ass back in the water and back to working out routinely.

I have found it is much easier to find reasons to not go once that pattern has reestablished itself.  UGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

What's for dinner?

I love when I am home from work because then I can cook!  I do not get to do this nearly enough.  Long hours and working out puts a damper in my "Giadaness"!

Tonight my family will be enjoying my "Old Time Beef Stew!"
I love this dish on a cool fall evening.  It is real comfort food.  It is also band friendly, and really satisfying.

I will share the recipe with you:

 Ingredients:

2 pounds of lean stew meat

2 tablespoons of olive oil

3 C water

1 T Worcestershire sauce ( I use more like 3)

1 Clove Garlic  ( I use more like 4)

1 or 2 Bay Leaves

1 medium sweet onion sliced

1 tsp salt

1 teaspoon of sugar

1.5 tsp pepper

1.5 tsp paprika

Dash of ground allspice or cloves

3 large carrots, sliced

3 ribs celery, chopped

3 large potatoes quartered

2 T cornstarch

Instructions:

In a dutch oven on top of the stove, brown meat in hot oil.  Add water, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, bay leaves, onion, salt, sugar, pepper, paprika, and allspice.  Cover and simmer for 1 1.5 hours.  Remove bay leaves.  Add carrots and celery and potatoes, cover and cook for 30 to 40 minutes longer.  To thicken the gravy, remove 2 C of hot liquid.  Using a separate bowl, combine 1/4 C of water and cornstarch until smooth.  Mix with a little hot liquid and return to the pot.  Stir and cook until bubbly.  Serve with hot bread or rolls.

My family loves this recipe and we have it often through out the fall and winter months.

I love it because I can dish up 1/2 cup containers and refrigerate and I have lunch for days at work.

Enjoy!