Friday, May 18, 2012
The Holy Grail.....Self Talk Part Three
Did you know that our minds are the most powerful computer on the planet? That we only use a fraction of it's capacity. This seat of emotions is where decisions are made good or bad. Science, for all it has learned, has yet to comprehend its capabilities. What we allow to reverberate within its walls will ultimately determine if we succeed or fail.
Regulating my self talk was not just some feel good nonsense. . Brainwashing and mental torture techniques rely on repetitious reciting, until we either go crazy, or succumb to the will of the "programmer". Our mind is like an off road forest path that trucks take. The more times a vehicle passes over that area, the deeper the ruts become, until the path is so rutted, that even though you try to avoid it your truck becomes stuck in the ruts and you are stuck. By allowing my negative self talk to remain, my mental thought processes automatically fell into the rut of self defeat. I was unconsciously programming myself for failure. Our thoughts guide our decisions, decisions create actions, and actions create destiny! We are what we repeatedly do. When I started swimming laps, I found that my mind typically gave out way before my body did. In short, I found that I am much stronger than I thought I was....and so are YOU!
Be careful of your self talk. As insignificant as it may seem, sets the tone of your internal environment. In this environment lies the seat of emotions that greatly influences our decisions thus creating the self fulfilling prophecy. Even something as harmless as..."I was bad"....for example I ate a donut at work today, can can be a drain on our enthusiasm. Since when did we put moral value on a pastry as if eating one will brand us with the Scarlet Letter? This journey is tough enough without being our own saboteur. Setting such high standards for yourself....such as I will never eat those......or I will never ever have that again.....is setting yourself up for failure. Rather try to say things like "I avoid donuts because eating one right now is NOT in my best interest". To say you will never eat one again is unrealistic at best.
I learned that I was better off to never make a declaration, than to make one and then not live up to it. My heart held me accountable. Each time a self proclaimed declaration was violated, something chipped away at my faith in myself until I didn't take myself seriously anymore. Soundness of resolve died, and was buried, and yet another attempt to live a healthy life ( notice I did not say diet) rotted away, then was forgotten to the dull pain.
Failed expectations exact a high emotional price.
I try every day to encourage myself with all of my accomplishments, both big and small, and tell myself that I have what it takes. This might seem silly, but it creates an environment inside where instead of dwelling on my failures, I feed on my successes. "Kristin great job at ZUMBA tonight, I know you were tired but you showed up and stayed the whole class", "nice job swimming those extra 10 laps tonight, even though you thought you would not have time" "great walking off that candy bar you had today". When I first began this journey my self talk consisted of bashing myself with words like, dummy, stupid, Kristin you idiot and so on. My soul was so full of the hatred for what I had become that I could not talk kindly to myself. There were those in my life who used those words toward me and I think it became embedded.
It is so important to love yourself right were you are at. I am not stupid, dumb, or an idiot. I am an individual with special gifts and unique talents to give. I learned that I was important right now, not once I lost 50 pounds. It is such a shame that our society is so appearance crazed that a persons worth is judged by how closely they conform to some airbrushed photo of a super model.
Loving myself right where I was at, was instrumental in creating an environment of emotional stability that allowed me to progress in my weight loss journey and it has nourished me through the tough times, for example my weight gain, the sudden and ultimate loss of my band, when I needed tremendous strength.
Emotional stability is one of the 4 pieces to unlocking the Holy Grail of weight loss.
NEXT - Realistic Goal Setting