Friday, December 30, 2011
Time for Mom to go home
Well today Mom went home. Adam went with her, so he could keep an eye out and he loves spending time with great grandma. He is growing up so fast. He will be 8 on the 20th of January. Nichole took them, because I am working and Alan stayed home with Cole.
I am certain that she will be OK, or I would not have let her go. But, she is a basket case because of the steroids that she is on, and I had to let her go. I will be glad when she is totally weened off these bad boys. They make her crazy literally. Her emotions are all over the place and I get that she needs to be in her own space. Her life was turned upside down, and she nearly died. That is a lot to take in with the holidays and her birthday all wrapped in there with it.
I will be glad to go home and be able to relax a little bit. Nichole and I are going to work out tonight after work. It is feeling good to be back into working out, I have to stay focused so that I can reach my goals. It also helps a lot with the stress management.
I cannot tell you how happy I am that I did not gain, and that I even lost over Christmas. I could not even begin to tell you if that has ever happened in my life, but I am certain not before I was banded. I am looking forward to my support group meeting that will be the 9th. I have to keep going back, for me and for them.
I am thinking about the end of 2011 and all that I have gained this year. I gained the ability to work through my food addiction to the point of stopping my downward spiral back into the pit of obesity. I worked through some really hard emotional problems that have plagued me since I was little, through therapy I was able to put those to bed as well.
I was able to find this little blogging community, and began to blog about my reinvention of myself. I know that I have done amazing things since being banded. I lost 80 pounds in the first 14 months, and was the leader of my lap band support group, I was looked up to as one who was succeeding. I fell, and lost sight of my band and through reading the blogs here and finding these amazing women, I was able to regroup, stop the madness and excuses and get back on track. I went back to the Dr. and I got a much needed fill in July. I have now lost and additional 61 pounds since seeing my surgeon in July. Which brings my total pounds lost since surgery in Nov 2007 to a whopping 141 pounds. WOW, where I would be if I had not slipped. I have proven this year, that yes, it is possible to NEVER think it will be you who regains weight, but that when it happens, you have to just face it, and get right back up. Follow the band rules you learned in pre-op and post-op and get back in line and see that doing that the pounds really will come off.
I am glad that I did, and even though I spent valuable time to some wasting the band, I actually learned a great deal. Not only about myself and why I choose food to comfort me, but what I love and cherish about myself. Why I love me even at 229 pounds. It is not the loss of weight that will bring me happiness, I have to find that before the weight comes off. I feel I have been able to do this much better.
I went to BOOBS 2.0 and am certain I will be at BOOBS 3.0 and having a grand time with the women who I feel are truly incredible. If you are thinking about going, do whatever you can to make it happen. You will not be sorry. The motivation that you get while being with them, will carry you through some rough rides.
I look towards my NEW YEAR with excitement for what lays ahead. I am hopeful that, by staying the course, that I will see Onederland this next year for the first time since probably 1997 or 1998. That will be a huge thing for me.
I am ready for whatever comes my way! I am with the band!