|November 5, 2007|
November 9, 2007, four years......where have I come? I have been around the block of banding I can tell you that much.
I vowed before the band that I would never, ever go back to my old habits of abusing and misusing food, but I did.
I also vowed that I would never regain those 85 pounds that I lost back then, but I did.
I watched as my broken and sore body, became fitter, and actually craved exercise, and I found myself addicted to it, only to find excuses to keep me from doing it.
I basically broke all bandster rules, and I did it in no time at all. It only took me about 6 months to put back on 50+ pounds, and it was hard for me. I became depressed and angry at me, myself and I.
Then I found blogging, yes I had already put on the brakes to my insane falling off of the wagon, but it was not until I found Catherine55 and others blogs, that what I had done truly changed my life for the better. She now knows what she did for me because I was so fortunate to meet her at BOOBS 2.0.!
|Catherine and Kristin BOOBS 2.0 Chicago|
So what were the rules that I broke you ask?
- I stopped measuring my food.
- I got a fill that was too tight to eat solid protein.
- I did not go back to the Surgeon to be unfilled.
- I began to eat around my band (eating sliders, things that would pass easily through it mostly high calorie liquids, ice cream yes lots of ice cream) eating out more than cooking.
- I stopped stepping on the scale.
- I was not diligent in drinking my water.
- I stopped logging my food.
- I had no idea if I was eating enough protein, I stopped doing my protein shakes.
- I began to eat sugar again in large quantities.
- I began to drink orange soda again like it was OK! (only orange though I never went full bore back to all soda) like that was an alright move on my part.
- I ate out of the site of anyone, I closet ate. Denying even to myself what I was eating.
- I became depressed and did not ask for help.
- I stopped going to support group for my lap band.
- I would not listen to those who love me that I live with, when they began to notice my gain!
- I made it OK, to eat pasta and rice and even bread again, when I know this NOT on the bandster diet.
I stopped the madness though, on June 28th, 2011, I saw my beloved surgeon once again and after a much needed ass chewing on his part. Kristin at 276 pounds hung her head, and then smiled and said I am going to change my life once and for all. On July 5th I had the second fill in my LapBand. Only the second fill I have ever had. I remember that day so vividly, I was scared. I was afraid of being to tight as I was after the first one so long ago. I told myself you silly girl, you can eat 4 small pieces of pizza, you can eat bread, you need this fill and you need it NOW! Stop the whining, and Just Do It! I stopped at Taco Bell, and I had two taco's before getting filled. Wow, I was a full fledged addict even still.
Since July, I have gotten my ass back in the gym. I began to go each and every day, and I did something amazing. I began to swim laps! Me, the fat girl, who could never pull her ass through the water before, actually did and I increased and increased those laps and times til I can now swim for 60 minutes and I feel amazing when I do. I started taking Zumba and found that I totally love this class and dancing. It is fun and not like working out at all, I have even begun to run. Yeah you heard right, I can now say I run, not far mind you. The most I have done is 1.5 miles and that is walk/ running. But hey, it is a far cry from where I started. I am down to 234.5 and I know that I still have a long way to go, to get where I need to be.
I am happy though, I feel I have turned that corner, I have really decided to not USE food for comfort, or think it is OK to eat the things I should not be. Maybe when I reach goal, I will go easier on myself with this, but for now, I am strict when it comes to everything. I measure, I log, I count, I weigh and I move! I drink water, eat my protein and I thank god everyday for my BOOBS!
Going to BOOBS this year, really gave me motivation, to stay on track. Seeing these amazing and beautiful women all in one location, and knowing that they all struggled with the same issues as me, made it OK! I was not horrible, or a failure, I was simply a food addict, who needs support to get past it.
I have lost a freaking lot of weight. I have lost over 130 pounds since my banding date of November 7, 2007. I would be at goal if that weight loss had not included the 60+ gain.
If anyone takes anything away from my post, let it be this. Your band is your best friend, treat it as so! Your band will see you through the rough times, if you let it. Your band is there to make you eat SOLID PROTEIN and Vegetables. Your band is a tool, and you are it's source of power and enable it to do it's job effectively. When you start making excuses, stop! Walk away and reevaluate what and why this is happening, do not put it off. You owe your life to it!
I am happy for the first time in a long time, truly happy. I am not at goal and have much more work to do, but I know that I can get there now, because I have admitted to myself why I ate, and worked through it with counseling.
I now EAT TO LIVE and I no longer LIVE TO EAT! What a great feeling that is.
|Kristin, Alan and Nichole November 11, 2011|