November 9, 2007

This was the day that changed my life.  I have  struggled with my weight since I had my first child.  I was not heavy until then.  I have yo-yo dieted most of my adult life.  I was tired of trying every diet imaginable.  I was lucky I had begun a new job with a fantastic Hospital and the insurance their would pay for my banding.


I went to a seminar along with my husband who supported me completely.  He does not have a weight problem and he stood beside me in the decision to stop the madness.  I saw The bariatric program through OSF is phenomenal.  Great instructions, nutritionist, and group support meetings.  I lost 80 pounds in the first 12 months.  I was on cloud nine.


I began leading the support group for Lap Band patients, and I was heading toward my goal.  I did not think anything could derail me.  Wrong Again!  Life interjects sometimes, and throws us a curve ball.


 My daughter went through a divorce and she and her two boys moved in.  My workouts that I was religious about doing came to a screeching halt.  I felt the increases of stress, and I began to eat around my band.  I had my first fill 12 months after getting my band.  I was one of the lucky ones, who had restriction from the get go.  I have a Allergan LapBand 4cc.  I had 2cc placed in it 12 months out.  I was tight, I had difficulty eating meat, and vegetables.  I did not want to have any removed I was scared to, so I began to eat things that were easy to get through my band.  Things I knew better about.  This went on for another 12 months, and slowly that "crap" came back into my diet.  Junk Food that I know better than to eat.  I stopped weighing, I stopped doing all the things that I knew that I should be doing. I stopped going to my surgeon, I was embarrassed I did not want him to see me fail. The weight started coming back on.


Then I looked at myself in the mirror and said WOW, Kristin how could you put back on that weight.  I had regained 50+ pounds. I was humiliated.  I felt like a failure.  I sought out a counselor, and began therapy.  I made the decision to get back on track with my band.  I knew the power of the tool that I had been given and I was determined this time to make it work and see it through.


Then I found this wonderful Blogger, Catherine55 and I read everyone of her posts and her success with her band and I got inspiration from her.  She is an amazing woman and I have never even met her.  She gave me the confidence in her blog to dust off and begin a new.


So here I am.....ready to hit head on this weight loss for the last time in my life.  I have removed the triggers from my house.  I have gotten back into the gym and walking.  I have set some goals, both short term and long term ones.

This is me before I hit my heaviest weight in 1997.

This is me before my surgery still not at my heaviest though I am heading there quickly

This is me still not at my heaviest but close I packed on additional 25 pounds after my second grandson Cole was born in October 2006.  I would be banded one year later.

I hate pictures of myself and I will try and make sure that I take many pictures on my journey this time.  I have my day of surgery picture and I carry it with me in my purse.  It is suppose to remind me of where I was and that I do not want to go back there again.


I know that I can do this and I will succeed.