I am finally moving again........... Wednesday Wisdom!

After weeks of no scale movement, I have begun the descent once again from this god awful place that I allowed myself to climb to.  I have to tell you that three months ago, when I made the decision to get back in touch with my band seriously, I thought gee Kristin, you are so behind the 8 ball.  You could have been done by now, in maintenance and loving life as a thin person.  

Those thoughts are true, but the reality is this, it is not easy, no one ever promised me that it would be.  Not the surgeon, not the nurse who led the support group, not the nutritionist, and least of all the people who stood before me at goal at my first seminar.  Where in the world did I get the idea that I could do this without hard work.  I know better.

Nothing in life comes easy, nothing that is worthwhile that is.  I look at my life and where I am today, verses where I was just a year ago, and I am actually more at peace now, than then.  Why?  Because I have worked on my inner demons.  The ones that are there whether I am thin or fat!  I still want to see a different me in the mirror, but now I am comfortable with who she is.  I know that I am a good person who was just fat!  I know that those who love me, love me because of ME not how much I weigh.  I think it is so funny how a drop of 1.2 pounds feels like winning the lottery to me.  I also think it is funny how, now today I think about working out, more than about what is for the next meal.

You see I used to obsess about food, it was always on my mind.  I would eat breakfast, usually something quick, like a breakfast sandwich from the Not so Golden Arches, and then in an hour, I thought I was in need of more food, and I would eat something else, and then in a couple of hours something else, when lunch would roll around I would eat another 1500 calories I imagine, not sure since I was not logging anything.  As I was eating lunch, I was thinking about dinner!!!!  Yes, I was thinking about what I needed to have for dinner, while I was eating.  It was so insane. You talk about people hooked on crack!  Really, how is this any different?  I was eating myself into a heart attack, early grave you name it.  I also closet ate, I would hide what I was eating.  I would leave work and go by Culver's and get a Snicker's Concrete mixer and devour it before I ever got home.  This was routine.  Exercise was non existent I was so tired when I would get home that I would just go lie in bed, depressed you think?  Most certainly I was, in denial, yeap I was there too, unable to see what I was becoming? well, I knew, but I stopped weighing cause I did not want to know, it scared the hell out of me. 

Something clicked, I am not sure what it was this time, but I am thrilled that it did.  I think it was the fact that I had gained so much weight back, that I had no clothes to move up into.  When I had lost down from the size 28 to the 14/16 that I was at before I began packing the pounds back on, I had gotten rid of anything in my closet above a size 18.  So here I was back doing those binges, and closet eating, and it was not pretty.  I was able to eat enormous amounts of food with my band.  I knew I needed a fill, but how could I face my surgeon after all of this time.  

I was the leader of the Lap Band support group for my surgeons practice.  I was the poster girl of "how to get the band working for you"!  I was so embarrassed, it was incredible.  So, after going back to therapy, and getting my head on straight and stopping the self bashing.  I picked up my size 18 jeans and big girl panties and went back to my Dr.!  He gave me a well deserved ass chewing yes he did.  But only because he could not understand why I stopped coming to see him, after all, he was my support, my key to helping when things were not going well!  He reminded me that he and I are a TEAM!  That we have to stick together on this or I will not prevail.  Great advice, and stuff I intend never again to forget.

I know that many of us have gone through rough times, with our bands.  I also know that many have not, they kept on the straight and narrow and are where the need or want to be already or are very close to be.  I want to say to those who have gone through the rough times, or are still fighting these demons, YOU can win the battle.  You have the inner strength, you have the determination, you have everyone here for support, and you have the BAND!  All of these put together equals success.

 I am down 2.8 pounds this week!  It feels wonderful!

Happy Hump Day!

8 More days til Chicago! Chicago!

Manic Monday!!! Where are you?

We want to be happy. Everyone, everywhere, is trying to find—and hold  onto—happiness. We do everything we are supposed to do: diligently follow the instructions, practice the techniques, and still, more often than we should be (given the amount of effort we are putting in) we are unhappy.

We human beings are remarkable creatures,  We can do anything we set out to do.  So why not happiness? Why is there such a split between our desire for happiness and our ability to find it? After many years of listening to people talk about their failed attempts to hang onto a  state of happiness, I began asking myself the following questions: 

What is this thing we call happiness? Is it achievable? Is it reliable? Is it sustainable? If it is, why are we not happy so much of the time?

 

As I looked at the state of happiness, I became intensely aware of its fragility.  When our life circumstances change and we lose the object that’s been making us happy…poof, our happiness is gone. When  uncomfortable feelings appear within our state of happiness or our desires change and whatever was bringing us happiness before no longer  works, happiness again disappears. We are constantly acquiring and losing happiness.

I began to see that it is not our efforts to create happiness that are flawed, but rather, our choice of happiness as a goal.  Happiness is the wrong goal for this life.  For most of us, happiness relies on our ability to control circumstances that, no matter how hard we try, we cannot control. For most of us, happiness relies on circumstances staying the same. Life always changes, uncomfortable feelings always arise, and what we want is always in flux. This is the nature of life.  The choice of continual happiness as a pursuit is irreconcilably flawed.

Is there something larger, deeper, more lasting than happiness? Is there a state of well being that can sustain itself in the midst of the changing circumstances and emotional shifts that life includes? Is there a way to feel grounded and well even when the contents of our lives are not?  If so, what shift must we make to create this state that is deeper and larger than happiness?

 
 
When Adam died, I never thought I would ever again feel real happiness.  I saw only the bad in the world.  I always prepared myself for the worst.  I still do.  I wait for the other shoe to drop. I would try to smile and pretend that everything was great!  I used FOOD to stuff those emotions, and believe me I did that well!

Somewhere along the path I got tired—luckily, tired of trying to get to peace and happiness, or rather, of getting there and watching it disintegrate. And with my weariness came an interesting development:

I  got curious about what was actually true.  I stopped trying to do something with what I was experiencing, to change it in any way, and just let myself see what was there, to experience what I was experiencing.  No longer trying to get to somewhere else, my meditation practice, and  consequently my life, could then be what it was, whatever that meant at any particular moment.  It was through this shift that I began to  glimpse a state of being that is radically different and amazingly okay, a state that is deeper and more eternal than happiness.  Indeed,  it was not until I stopped trying to create happiness—as a way out of now—and started investigating what is here—a way in—that I discovered a doorway to something far more blissful than happiness had ever offered.

 

Normal life is not easy for anyone.  Why then do we expect ourselves  to be happy all the time? This foolish expectation creates tremendous suffering. Rather than trying to hang onto something whose nature is transitory, we must discover a state of well being that can withstand and flourish within the inherent volatility of a human life.  We should be grateful for happiness when it is here, but as a goal for life, it is unwise.

We spend our lives trying to get to some imaginary there, where happiness awaits.  What we don’t know how to do is to get to here, where we are.  We discover wellness – what I believe we should seek instead of happiness -- when we shift our focus toward this moment and what is actually here. The secret to wellness is counter-intuitive: allow whatever is happening inside you to happen.  

Don’t do anything with it.  Feel what you are feeling, hear what you are thinking, experience what you are experiencing.  Let what is moving though you move through without changing it, judging it, or identifying with its contents.  When you let go of achieving a particular outcome with your experience and meet your experience, as it is, good or bad, you will be well.  You will uncover the place that relies on nothing and no one, but is inherently and eternally yours.

Through this journey of weight loss and weight gain I have learned an enormous amount of positive things about myself, as well as negatives.  I have embraced them both.  Because, I had to learn from the negatives and change them, so that I could continue to grow and find this place of wellness.  I had to stop hating myself.  I had to stop hating how I look in the mirror, instead  I had to realize that by doing the right things, working out, eating right and getting enough sleep, that my body would do the changing for me.  It will find it's own Wellness if I let it, and my mind will follow.

Am I successful everyday?  Hell no, I am not.  Is it what I strive for?  Yes, I do.  I am much better now than I was even 8 months ago.


Yes, it is a Manic Monday but I have a sense of calm that washes over me, knowing that this too shall pass!

Rainy Sunday Great Day For Making SOUP! Yum

Cream of Tomato and Basil Soup

I love to cook and until recently, I hardly ever made homemade soup!  It was not fattening enough I guess.  I have been searching for some wonderful recipes because I love soup in the winter time.  Quite frankly I refuse to pay what take out places want to charge for a bowl of soup or a cup for that matter.  I got a cup of vegetable soup at Panara a few weeks ago and it was $4.95 for one cup.  Outrageous I say.

My favorite soup has always been tomato since I was a little girl and mom would make it for me with grilled cheese.  There is still nothing better on a cold winter's day in my mind.  So I set out to make this incredible soup.  It turned out delicious, mouth watering if I do say so myself.

Creamy Tomato and Basil Bisque Soup

Ingredients

Butter, unsalted, 1 tbsp
Onions, 1 medium chopped
4 slices of bacon, cooked crisp
Celery, raw, 1 rib finely chopped
Garlic, 3 cloves minced
Whole wheat flour, 3 tablespoons
Chicken Broth, 4 cups
Canned tomatoes, (I used Fire Roasted w garlic) 14.5 oz 
2 cans
Tomato paste, 1 can
Granulated Sugar, (I use organic sugar) 1 tsp
Bay Leaves, 2 whole
Basil, 2 teaspoons
Light Cream 1/4 cup
Croutons and fresh Parmesan for topping
Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

Melt butter in a dutch oven over medium heat.  Add onion, celery and garlic.  Cook for 4 minutes.  Stir in flour over low heat.  Add broth, tomatoes, tomato paste, sugar, bay leaves and basil.  Turn heat to medium and simmer for 10 minutes.  Remove bay leaves.  In a blender, carefully puree half of the soup.  Return to sauce pan, stir in cream and season with salt and pepper.  Top with croutons and freshly grated Parmesan cheese.  
Number of servings: 6
Nutrition info:  Calories 136  Fat 4.7g Carbs 11.0g  Protein 3.2g

Cream of Tomato and Basil Soup

My next soup would be Cream of Asparagus.  My absolutely favorite vegetable.  I thought well, I am going to give this one a try as well.

Asparagus Soup

It turned out really good too!  I was very impressed how easy and simple these soups are to prepare.

Cream of Asparagus Soup

Ingredients

2lbs of Asparagus
1 C chopped onion
2-3 garlic cloves minced
1 tsp whole wheat flour
1 tbsp Olive oil
1/4 tsp salt and pepper

Directions

Wash asparagus and snip off the hard stems.  Separate the tips and save them to be added later.  Chop onions and garlic cloves, saute in a tsp of oil until transparent.  Boil asparagus in approx 2-3 cups of water and let it cool. Puree onions and asparagus together using a blender.  In dutch oven add a tsp of oil, saute the flour until golden brown, lower the heat and add the pureed mixture.  Add evaporated milk ( I used Half and Half) and let the soup come to a boil.  Now add asparagus tips and let it stay for a few minutes.  Serve hot and enjoy with croutons and parmesan cheese on top.

Servings: 6 1 cup servings

Nutrition:  Calories 156.9    Fat 7.4g  Carbs 17.3g  Protein 8.3g

Asparagus Soup

Cheddar Broccoli Soup

The last soup I made today was requested by Alan and Nichole. Broccoli Cheddar Soup they love it.


Broccoli Cheddar Soup


Ingredients


2 T olive oil
1 medium sweet onion chopped fine
2 stalks of celery chopped fine
2 C low sodium Chicken Broth (I use organic)
2 C half and half
1 pound russet potatoes, peeled and chopped
1 pound sweet potatoes, peeled and chopped
1 bay leaf
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
2 C chopped broccoli florets
1/3 pound of chedder cheese, shredded about 1 1/3 C
Croutons for topping


Directions


Heat the olive oil in a large pot over medium high heat.  Add the celery and onion and cook, stirring, until softened, about 5 minutes.  Add the chicken broth, half and half, both potatoes, bay leaf, 2 cups of water, 1 teaspoon of salt and 1/4 teaspoon of pepper and bring to a boil.  Reduce heat to medium low and simmer until potatoes are tender, about 10 minutes. Meanwhile, put the broccoli in the microwave and cook until fork tender.  When the potatoes are tender, remove the bay leaf from the soup and transfer the soup to the blender.  Puree until smooth, leaving the filler cap slightly open to let the steam escape.  Return the soup to the pot and thin with water if needed. Return to simmer over medium low heat; stir in the broccoli and season with salt and pepper.  Add the cheese and stir until melted.  Ladle the soup into bowls and top with croutons, if desired.


Makes 6 servings


Nutrion:  Calories 524  Fat 34g  Cholesterol 97mg  Sodium 642  Carbs 50g  Fiber 8g  Protein 22g


This soup is fantastic, and it is pure comfort.

The last thing I made today was dinner.  Tonight it was "Honey Mustard Roasted Chicken"

This is an easy recipe to make and oh so mouth watering.  My family loves it!

Ingredients

1 lb potatoes, cut into wedges
2 lbs of chicken tenders cut into chunks
6 medium carrots, sliced into chunks
2 Tablespoons of olive oil
1 1/2 Tablespoons of Honey
3 Tablespoons mustard
1 teaspoon of rosemary
2 heads of garlic, peeled
salt and pepper to taste

Directions

Preheat oven to 425 in a shallow baking pan, toss potatoes and carrots with olive oil, salt and pepper.  Nestle peeled garlic cloves amongst the vegetables and scatter the rosemary on top.  Arrange the chicken among the vegetables and bake uncovered for 30 minutes.  Meanwhile, stir the mustard and honey together.  Remove the pan from the oven.  Carefully take the chicken from the pan to another and spread the honey mustard mixture over the chicken.  Stir the vegetables in the pan, return coated chicken to the pan, and place pan back into the oven.  Bake 10-20 minutes, until chicken is cooked and vegetables are tender.


Nutrition:  Calories 356.7   Fat 8.9g  Carbs  39.4g  Protein 30.5g


Weight wise, Nichole and I swam this morning and I actually did 32 laps.  I was amazed, I am sore tonight.  My shoulders are tender.  


I also had an NSV, Alan was rubbing my sore shoulders and I was sitting on the floor in front of him.  When he was done I said thank you and just hopped up.  That is right, I just hopped up.  It was effortless.  Alan was like "WHOA" I have not seen you move that fast from the floor in 30 years.


It felt great!


Well 4am comes early for this Chick, and I am off to bed.

My Dress!

I found it for Wicked!, on the 12th of Oct.  However, I will be wearing it on Sat night to BOOBS!

Healthy Diet Habits - - What is Number One?

If you pick up one habit early on in your program that will make a major difference in your weight loss, this is it. 

The list of benefits of water is so long, you’d think people were selling it as an 18th-century miracle tonic. There is evidence that fully hydrated bodies have higher metabolisms and can burn fat at a faster rate than thirsty, dry bodies. Water also helps you: 

• DIGEST FOOD
• FEEL FULLER
• LOOK AND FEEL FRESHER
• HAVE MORE ENERGY
• THINK MORE CLEARLY

If there is one thing that is clearly difficult with the band for me, it is getting in ALL of my required daily water.  I have to sip and sip and sip.  I have  good restriction with this fill and so it is just like a funnel in there.  I feel it pool at the top of my band and trickle through.  So I have to be drinking and sipping all day long!   So I cannot stress this one enough for the newly banded.  DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!

When you drink more water, and your body gets used to it, you ironically store less water. Seems that your body needs to trust that it’ll continue to get plenty of the good stuff, otherwise it’ll hold onto what little water it does receive. Less water means less weight. Early on, losing several pounds – even if it’s water weight – can be a huge motivator. 

A pound of FAT!

 

A healthy diet should NOT rely on fluids to provide calorie or nutrient needs, but water is necessary for metabolism and normal physiological function. In fact, water is the only fluid that the body truly needs. How much water do you need? Most people need about 8 cups every day, but active people usually need to drink more. Remember that water can come from lots of different sources--even foods contain the water that your body needs! 

 

Fresh fruits and veggies are tremendous sources of water. Fruit juices, milk, teas and decaf coffee also count. Watch out for caffeinated beverages. Caffeine can actually increase your need for more water; so a lot of caffeinated coffee or soda may do more harm than good. 

Relying on thirst is not a good strategy. By the time the brain signals thirst, you’re already dehydrated. If you’re working out, by the time you’re thirsty, your performance can drop 5-10%. The idea is to stay consistently hydrated for optimal performance and weight loss. Seesawing between hydration and thirst can hold you back. Again, your body needs to know that it’ll get what it needs all the time; otherwise it’ll store some back. 

Weekends are the toughest, so be aware of your water and fluid intake throughout Saturday and Sunday. Keep more than one water bottle in the fridge so you always have a cold one. Take a bottle of water with you everywhere you go.  Alan teases me because there are literally bottles sitting on the beside table, the bathroom counter, I have them all over my house most of the time.  But he also knows, that I get extremely  bitchy when I am dehydrated!  So he is always encouraging me to drink!


This is my second post about the importance of WATER!!  I have realized through out my journey how very important water has become to me and to my success at weight loss!


THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR WATER!

Happy Friday!

An Award For Me?

 

 I was nominated today for my very first Blogging award how cool is that?  Thank you Ronnie over at Ronnie's Bandumentary.

 

 

So here it is... and I just love the meaning behind it! The Liebster Blog award. :)

Liebster means ‘beloved’ or 'favorite' in German and it’s an honor to receive this award. The Liebster Blog Award is designed to bring additional recognition to those bloggers with less than 200 followers. If you receive the award, you should link back to the blogger that nominated you and nominate five more blogs. Also, don’t forget to let them know that you nominated them.

 

Here are my five nominees:

 

Amanda over at Hopeful Bandster !  Amanda is real and I love her.  She is newly banded and she is ROCKING her band!

 

Carmen over at I'm With The Band !  She is witty and genuine.  She is an inspiration and I enjoy reading her blog!

 

Angela over at Repair and Renovation !  Angela is one of the reasons I am here.  Her blog along with Catherine's just energized me.  Seeing her progress and reading her posts, she is truly an amazing woman.  Check her out!

 

MandaPanda over at Candyland to Bandland !  She is working her band and is another one who you need to read if you aren't!  Her commitment to this journey is an inspiration!

 

Elizabeth over at Inside v. Outside!  She is newly banded and she is doing great!  She is so committed to this BAND!  Drop by and see why I enjoy her Blog so much! 

 

Thanks Ronnie for nominating me you are an inspiration to us all!  I had no idea when I started my blog how much I would gain from it.  It has been incredible.  I truly had no idea that anyone out there would care what I would have to say!  You all are truly wonderful and I am so excited about BOOBS 2.0! 

Can Comfort Foods Be Good For You?

Comfort – A condition or feeling of pleasurable ease, well-being, and contentment.

Chicken and dumplings

 
Food – A substance you consume to produce energy, stimulate growth, and provide nourishment.

Spaghetti Pie

Put these two words together and people dream of hot fudge sundaes, or turn to mom's fried chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy for pick-me-ups and fall prey to many other kinds of eating rituals. This is the power comfort foods hold. Unfortunately, it seems that most comfort foods console us with extra fat, calories and other ingredients that lack great nutritional value. But not all comfort foods are made this way.

There are actually 7 comfort foods that are GOOD for you!  Check these out - -

Yogurt (with fruit)
The frozen variety tastes pretty similar to its ice cream counterpart, only with less fat. By adding fruit, you’re only adding more minerals and vitamins. Cool and soothing, this comfort food is a perfect snack, yet tastes sweet enough to ease your pain. I have recently fallen madly in love with OIKOS!

OIKOS Greek Yogurt

Fruit smoothie
This is the perfect cure for anyone with a sweet tooth. Amazingly, even if you don’t normally like fruit, you will probably still enjoy this blend of fruit, juice and yogurt. It only takes a few minutes to whip up in your blender and is a cool and refreshing treat during a hot, summer day.  I love these after a workout and I always add UNJURY protein to them. 

Strawberry Smoothie with UNJURY Protein

Chicken noodle soup
Would you rather have anything else when you’re sick? This blend of noodles, chicken chunks and veggies in a steaming hot bowl will take you back to your childhood. Remember to buy a brand with low sodium, or make your own at home.

Kristin's Chicken Noodle Soup

Angel food cake
Sometimes, we all love a slice of cake. Warm and fluffy, every bite is better than the previous one. With angel food cake, you can enjoy a slice without feeling guilty about it later. Pretend it’s your birthday and have a slice, maybe even with some fat-free whipped cream. I love this dessert, and have since I was a little girl.  Mom would make it for me for my birthday!

Grandma's Angel Food Cake

Oatmeal
Forget caffeine-charged coffee; oatmeal is all you need for a hot breakfast that will leave you energized for hours to come. Packed with complex carbs, oatmeal is easy to make and much healthier than a sugary cereal you might otherwise eat. A steaming bowl of oatmeal will make mornings your favorite part of the day. Toss in some fresh fruit to get that sweetness you crave.  Stay away from those little packets of already prepared however, they are full of that evil SUGAR!!!!!

OATMEAL does a body good!

Vegetable juice
Sometimes you need that kick. Vegetable juices, such as V8 and others, have enough kick to play in soccer’s World Cup. (Which Alan loves by the way!)  A blend of many vegetables, including tomatoes, it’s great when you’re not very hungry or when you're on the go.  I got a juicer for Christmas two years ago and it is easy to make your own, however it takes a lot of vegetables.  So if you can't make it yourself, then buy it just check the labels for sodium content.

Vegetable Juice - - - YUM!

Crock pot creations (anything that’s healthy, any way)
One of the greatest food inventions of the 20th century, a crock pot can seemingly take any combination of ingredients and turn them into a great meal. Slowly cooked, whatever comes out is hot and tastes great. Throw in healthy meats and a bunch of veggies to make this comfort food good for you. I will never stand for anyone to tell me that they cannot cook.  This kitchen MUST HAVE will turn you into a gourmet in no time!  The choices are endless, and the great thing for me is that, time is saved yes, but look at the amount that is made.  I get 7 meals out of one dish!  That is so cost efficient these days!

Kristin's Chicken in a Pot

 Bottom line is, there are good comfort foods out there, and you can have them!  How great is that?  When you cook at home you can control what goes in your mouth more easily.  You can make meals healthier, by substituting and removing certain things, such as fats and salt.  I love to cook, and I find it fun to try new things.

  I used to want to eat only those foods that I loved.  Which happened to be high calorie, fat laden foods most of the time.  I don't eat hamburgers anymore.  Yeah you heard me right I just don't desire them, not to mention my pouch does not like em much either.  Can you say STUCK!  Believe me, if you would have told me prior to surgery that I would not want a hamburger off the grill I would never have never believed you, but now, I would rather have a small piece of grilled Talapia or grilled chicken.

Grilled Talapia with pineapple

These things comfort me now, because I have redefined what COMFORT means to me, and FOOD is no longer my comfort.  I am an addict.  I must never use food as comfort again.  I eat to live, I no longer LIVE TO EAT!


Thankful it is Thursday!


Come on Weekend!  Two weeks from today my train arrives in Chicago for BOOBS 2.0!  I'm so excited and I just can't hide it! 

Super Mario Brothers....Coles 5th Birthday Theme!

So it is approaching fast now.  Nichole's birthday is Saturday the 1st of October, when I will be with you all in Chicago.  She will also be in Chicago that weekend as well, for her birthday with her best friend. He and she will have fun I am sure.

Cole's birthday is October 10th and we are having his party on the 8th.  I ordered his cake yesterday.  The lady who makes them is amazing.  It will look something like this:

He loves it, and when he saw the picture of it, he just kept saying, "Cole's cake".  Cole is Autistic and he is non verbal but learning to talk slowly.  He can say the words and sentences but rarely without prompting.  He gets speech therapy three times a week and has made huge progress this past year.  He will be in Kindergarten next year!  He is so special to me and to our family.  I would not change him at all.  He is so very very intelligent.  He can do things with computers and electronic things I can only wish to do.  He does better at this video game than my husband who has been playing it for over 25 years!

Her cakes are amazing, and she is so talented.  Looking forward to it!

It is a hectic couple of days for me!  I am so looking forward to BOOBS!

 
 

Quiet Weekend With A Sprinkle Of Exercise And A Dash Of Homework!

It was a quiet weekend, Alan had to work so it was just Nichole and the boys.  I had a really busy day at work on Friday.  We had a coworker whose last day it was, so we had a luncheon for her.  I was very good and could hardly eat what I ordered.  It was take in and from an Italian resturaunt.  I usually try to stay away from these places because getting back into eating pasta was another reason that my weight came back on.  Let's face it, it slides right through the band, or at least for me it did.

I had ordered cheese ravioli in Marinara sauce.  It look delicious and I only was able to eat one ravioli.  It was a small order and only had four pieces but they were large, the size of your palm.  I felt very good about this choice and my fill.  I know that I will not partake of pasta often because it is a trigger for me.

 After I ate this I developed horrific gas.  I was so bloated it was awful, I could barely sit at my desk.  I was nearly in tears.  I had planned on swimming when I got home on Friday evening but instead, had to go to bed.  I was miserable.  I tried to eat dinner.  Nichole had made this wonderful chicken with broccoli and the new cooking Philidelphia cream cheese with italian herbs.  It smelled and looked delicious.  But I could not eat!  I just went to sleep.  No swimming, no homework--ugggh I hate when my weekends start this way!

Nichole is really doing well and she is down to 313 from 331 since August 1st.  I am so very proud of her.  She is doing this without a band!  She told me that having me around is helping and working out together has been something that we both look forward to.

On Saturday I got up and went and picked up Mom and Bria and she came to stay with the boys while Nichole and I went and swam laps.  I was tired but able to do 45 minutes.  It is getting easier and easier to swim.  I do not just about cough up a lung anymore.  I also do not hang on the side with every lap of the pool.  These are all huge NSV's for me.  Who would have ever thought that I would be swimming laps, let alone for nearly an hour.

This is my favorite time of year.  Autumn, and it is coming I can feel it in the air, time for sweatshirts and roasting marshmallows and making smores with the boys!

Saturday  night, I did some homework.  I did not complete it because I was just too tired.  I did some shopping on Saturday with Mom and Nichole at my favorite place in the world TJMax.  I must admit, I should own stock in this store as much cash as I drop there.  It is my weakness.  I took Adam to Toys R US because he just had to find some "dragons".  He is learning to save his money, so he had money to spend but Gramm's had to help him out some.  He was so happy.


My grandsons, Adam and Cole are the lights of my life.  I love being with them and feel so blessed to have them living with me.  It will be so hard when Nichole moves out, something I secretly hope does not happen anytime soon.  It will be four years in February.

Sunday started out as a lazy day.  Nichole took Adam to church and I stayed home because I had more homework to get done.  I also wanted to watch the 9-11 Memorial.   It was nice, but so sad.  I watched a lot of the coverage yesterday off and on about that day.  I remember vividly where I was.  I presume that most of us do.  Mom spent the night on Saturday and she watched with me.

It is so sad to think of all that we lost that day!  I certainly will never forget.  Alan is in the military full time, and so I am a wife of someone who gets deployed.  This time scared me, I did not know what it would mean for my own family.  Alan would go to IRAQ but not until 2005.

In the afternoon Nichole and I took Adam and went to the Club and swam laps.  I could not believe the energy that I had.  It was so easy to do, I just kept going.  By the time I looked up, 60 minutes had ticked off of the clock!  That is right 60 minutes.  I had not been able to swim for 10 minutes three weeks ago.  WOW what a difference!

I felt great.  When I got home, I was tired.  So I sat down with Cole and we cuddled a little.  Then I had an odd bout of diarrhea show up, well let me tell you it was not all the odd.  I had eaten some Jelly Belly's before I went swimming.  Yeah, I know what the hell was I thinking.  Just that little bit of sugar, and bam IBS was back in full swing.  God I hate sugar and how it effects my body.

I recently read a blog here that has a saying on it.  "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"!  This is my new mantra.  I may not always get it done every day.  But I am certainly going to do my best to keep sugar out!

Happy Monday everyone!

and GOD BLESS THE USA!